Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Hobo Corner: XXXHolic Review

XXXHolic Review

*This review contains spoilers and it's an honest review. so if you want to read a fluffy kitty review you best go elsewhere*


Welcome to the wonderful world of Japanese Harry Potter!  Wait a minute oh my mistake I thought this was Japan's version of Harry Potter it's just XXXHolic.

Episode one:

We start out with our protagonist Watanuki which literally translates to April Fool in Japanese. Ever since he was very young he has the ability to see and communicate with spirits. but these spirits aren't human most of the time or look a likes from a Medium reject show. but the only problem he's the only one who can see them so he looks like a mental patient escapee frequently.  So one day Watanuki is walking home from school when he is chased down and molested by a huge Pokémon reject. when Watanuki gets away from it he touches a wall and the spirit abruptly vanishes. He looks to see a strange quaint shop in the middle of a modern city. 
When he goes to check it out he is suddenly dragged on to the property and two little girls pop out. Escorting him into the stranger's shop where he sees a beautiful mysterious woman. He explains the whole story about how he got here. But the woman goes on about fate and how if you give people your real name and birthday they can be your soul's pimp; or something to that matter. 
He also introduced to the two young girl names being Maru and Maoro.  The mysterious woman introduces herself as Yuko.  She goes on about equivalent exchange and all that good stuff oh wait wrong anime. She offers Watanuki that she could get rid of the spirits that keep pestering him. 
So he accepts and the payment being he is now Yuko's bitch. Watanuki is sent on an errand to pick up a guest when he finds a Ryo-ohkie reject named Mokona.  
While Watanuki is sent out to do other various errands he runs across this girl who can see and hear spirits or so claims to.  when soon he returns back to the wish shop. Where the he tells Yuko about the girl and after some cryptic babbling from her.
 The main point being that what we wish for isn't always good or turn out the way we planned. That is pretty  much the end of episode one so that's what you're in for.

The only issue I have with the story it's a good idea and has a lot of potential but wasn't executed rightly.  It seems like the series gets ADHD frequently and I have always wonder how much would it cost for  Watanuki's wish to balance everything out?

Animation: 3/10

The animation is hit and miss throughout the series there are times when it is amazing. then there are times when it looks like they had a kindergartener  draw the scenes.

Characters: 1/10

I know Clamp fans are probably about ready to shoot me. But it irritates me that through the entire serious Watanuki is useless without Domeki. All of the characters look anorexic and so tall that they would give Jose Conseco a hard time. I do admit there are times when Yuko looks pretty but other than that I hate all the main characters.

Music: 5/10

The music is about the only thing well executed in this anime. I like the openings but the endings meh nothing to jump up and down about.

Overall: 5/10

It has potential if you can look past the crap characters then you might enjoy this anime.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Hobo Corner: Valley of the dolls Part 3

Neely's point of view

Nelly O'Hara:  The show she is in is a major hit; She finds out at a party that Mel wants to marry her right away and doesn't want to wait until the summer to get married. A month passes, Nelly ends up signing with a big agency and for a present they give her a  grand piano. Also she takes on another show; So now she is pulling double duty. She also plans to keep on working no matter what and not end up like Helen Lawson.

 The new agency sends over to help get Neely all in shape Jillian Michaels! No not really but he's just about as crazy and rude as her. When he finally makes her lose it completely after he threatens to burn her clothes and gets her a boring new wardrobe. When she is having lunch with Mel she asks him about the new trainer and if it's just her overreacting, or is he really being a complete nut job? He just mutters things in coherently. when she finally gets a answer out of him; He's on the trainer's side saying that homosexuals most of the time are snappy dressers.

Neely show she is staring in is what puts her on the stardom rocket. She gets a movie deal as well as a record contract. Also she is moving out to California and talked Mel out of his job to be a house husband. Before it was the cool thing to do.

It's been two years and now Neely has two beautiful twin boys. Also a new husband/baby daddy named Ted. But she missed the twins Birthdays because of work and being too stoned off her ass.  Neely believes television won't change Hollywood and kill radio shows. She thinks all the people are overreacting not giving out long contracts for Movies and other entertainment any more. She also has seen Jennifer is now a huge French "Art" porn star. She remembers to have to thank Anne for Lyon's new book even though the critics said it is worse than when Stephanie Meyer decided to sell her soul and go all commercial.  Later on Neely decides to keep the buzz going and doing the Marilyn Monroe thing; Taking pills and alcohol at the same time. When suddenly she hears a loud splash in the pool in her yard. She peers in to the darkness only to see Ted cheating on her with some intern; frolicking in the pool fooling around with each other. Neely in a fit of rage pours herself a scotch and takes several more pills.

When she realizes that Ted never really pays for anything she is covering the bills, food, house, car payments and servants. Neely enraged storms downstairs and outside toward the pool. A fight ensues Neely screaming and yelling at Ted giving him a piece of her mind. She made the song Please don't leave me  By Pink. Seem like a Hannah Montana song with how she flipped out.  But it turned out to be the final straw Ted left and never came back.

Three years later Neely fought against the idea of getting a divorce with Ted. Her PR manager warned her it would look bad for her image being the cute girl next store type. So they worked out a deal in Public Ted would pretend to be her husband escorting her to movie openings and Hollywood  parties.

But now Neely being black balled in other words no studio wanted her to star in pictures being too high of a liability.  It wasn't until she won an Academy award she had enough power to finally divorce Ted's cheating ass. 

As time passes Neely starts become a diva leaving the set when she feels like it. Not showing up to the set and pulling a Charlie Sheen except with pills. A director warns her that the studios soon won't put up with her hair brained  schemes anymore. Later that evening while Neely is taking pills like candy; She feels frustrated on now how everything has to be upright and moral it's wearing thin on her with everything be all creepy perfect leave it to beaver type of movies. 

Three years later Neely can barely fit in skinny jeans anymore. She is about to have someone play the tuba when she walks and follow her around.  Neely is called in to have a meeting with Bob Barker. No not really but he looks like him. She has the meeting with the studio head who would be a Bob Barker look alike.  Neely knocked off her high horse after having thrown one too many tantrums and leaving in the middle of shooting. feeling worthless and distraught she overdoses on pills. 

Neely discovers that she is back on top with everyone kissing her feet thinking she tried to kill herself. Neely goes to work the next day only to have the director playing head games with her until she stormed off the set. Neely's replacement having been smart and is sleeping with the director. Neely gets in trouble after ditching her own television come back special; She pretty much had a nervous breakdown. Having issues dealing with Jennifer's suicide she has another breakdown; begins to try to commit suicide to join Jennifer. Only to back out at the last minute calling an EMS crew to come get her.

She awakens in a hospital room and Anne yells at her about how they wanted to take her to a funny farm. When Anne suggests the sleep cure of Neely. But what the doctors says she is too far gone for it to work on Neely. The plan gets into motion Anne takes Neely for the "sleep cure" to help Neely get her voice back.

Anne glad she not going to be there when Neely finds out she's been committed not getting a sleep cure.

 Neely tries to make a mad dash after figuring out it's a set up only to be tackled to the grown by a lady as big as Hulk Hogan.  Neely still freaking out after they brought her some food she hurled the entire tray at the nurse screaming at her. Only to try kicking out the screen in the window.

But only to be tackled again by the Hulk Hogan looking nurse. The nurses soon dragged Neely into a tub that had a straight jacket type of cover over it so she wouldn't be able to move around in it.

 When Neely being the first ever to break free from it and nearly escape until being tackled again and put in there. Neely falls asleep being sedated to awaken in the psyche ward with the most disturbed patients. while a girl fills her in that it's like school act all goody-goody and you'll be out of here in no time. Neely was soon seeing a psychiatrist who wanted to play Freudian games and what not. To her everyone seemed sane compared to the brain washed loons. But the horrifying thing is some were brain washed by using shock therapy. So Neely must now using her acting abilities to get her out of the nut house and to her partying lifestyle.  In the funny farm Neely learned that the doctors brainwash the people who were liable for them that there crazy even they really aren't. But compared to the rest of them Neely is sane as Betty White.  This where Neely's point of view ends but the other two continue Anne's ending the book. be sure to check out parts 1&2. I hope you got a good laugh out of this.
Valley of the dolls can be overdramatic but it's a good book. So I give it an 8 out 10

Ted: Neely's Second husband and baby daddy to her twin boys. he is a British actor and She met him when she was stoned out of her mind. Isn't that how Lindsey Lohan meets most of her boyfriends. But turns out he's in the closet for being a homosexual. only Neely caught him once having his way with another man. But she still stayed together with him for the twins sake. wow this must be where they got the idea for the show Teen Mom.

Mel: Neely boyfriend and soon to be first husband. Also recently got promoted to the writer of a very popular radio show. also ditched Neely to New York while she married someone else.

Anne Welles: with her connections to Allen happened to find an amazing apartment. it belonged to Allen's father's ex girlfriend who went overseas for awhile until the summer.

Jennifer North: recently turned down a movie deal claiming it wasn't good enough and wants to stick with Tony Polar.
Zeke Whtyes: Neely's trainer to help her dance better and sing. but he is a real hard ass driving both Anne and Jennifer nuts with his crazy rules and never giving Neely five minutes to rest.

The Hobo Corner: Valley of the dolls Part 2

            Jennifer's Point of View

Jennifer North: The second character you read about when the book changes  point of view. She has been working very hard at the show that her and Neely are in. Even though she is only doing a cameo it's good exposure. Also helps her want to get that movie deal she has been waiting for. She is also from Ohio unlike her roommates one being from the circus the other from Massachusetts. Also she has quite a bit of money coming to her from the show and from the court settlement from her Ex husband. Robby being her recent sugar daddy to help her get some new clothes.

Jennifer may seem like a sweet girl and just a pretty face but she doesn't let her emotions get the best of her; not anymore... in a lot of ways I think she's a lot like Paris Hilton. Paris has no talent she doesn't either. she's just a pretty face so is Paris

When gold-digger senior. A.K.A Jennifer's Mom who called to whine about how she needs more money. Also on how that the stage name Jennifer North is ridiculous. But Jennifer took it to fool people that she is only 19 and really is 25.

But she takes very good care of herself though which helps for fool the masses about her true age. When she explained to her mother that the supposed rich prince was really just dirty poor and is nothing but a high class pimp. Maybe he's related to sir mix a lot.  But Jennifer plots with her Mother on how she is going to marry her current boyfriend for his money. As well as have along with her mother, her Stepfather and Grandma move in with them; Be there sugar mama to all of them. She went to school in Switzerland for a year but had to leave after her father died and the money dried up putting them in the poor house.  But she stayed with Bi-curious friend Maria for years until Maria's father cut her off. when Jennifer learned unless you have money you can't have any fun. Desperate to get out of there she had her Mother send a fake letter stating she is ill and needs her help. But left most of her clothes there to make it seem like she'll come back to Maria's. But she changed her name and shortly met the pimp of a prince.
The summer passes and it's now winter.  Anne and Jennifer have been living out a hotel room for awhile now. Jennifer recently took up modeling but still isn't making enough to support her Mother and her shopping addiction. She is still hopeful about marrying Tony and finally opens up to Anne about the rampant insomnia she has struggled with the past year. Later that night desperate for sleep Jennifer decides to take  a Seconal. Then she discovers the wonderful world of drugs it isn't until when she runs out she starts to go back to being an insomniac. Wanting more she goes to a nice doctor and asks for drugs; But they shooed her away with a broom calling her a stupid stoner.  When Jennifer asks about how to get them from a friend that had given her a few in the first place. She goes to CVS no not really there pill Nazi's there. She finds a doctor practicing out of his pickup truck and writes her the prescription no problem.  Jennifer comes up with a crazy scheme on how have Tony marry her using a giant slingshot, a banana cream pie and an acme balloon;  But it back fires horribly with her humiliating defeat she decides to be a good friend and accompany Anne to Anne's mother's funeral out of town. Jennifer soon returns to town thinking about how Miriam must be having a ball that Jennifer is gone. But comes back to have dozens of messages from Tony. So she decides to play head games with him and blows him off when he asks to go out on the town with her. When a few nights later Tony finally gives in and they go to Vegas to elope. Now Jennifer noticed how emotional unbalanced Tony is and wants to book it. But of course not without getting some of the wealth Tony has first.

Five months later Jennifer is bored out of her mind. She moved to California with Tony and Miriam. But she is a nobody, nothing but tony Polar's wife. In order to get some respect you have been in a movie but Tony is the only who maybe staring in a movie. When after some time Jennifer gets an idea on how to get some attention also to divert any starlets chasing after Tony. She got herself pregnant and announces it first to Neely. who look very, very, very slim now. Neely offers her a service to make the baby go back where it came from. But Jennifer scolds her telling she wants this baby and it to be the perfect little girl.

Neely tells her about her two new drugs one to burn the fat off and another sleep pill. Jennifer declines the drugs now wanting to be a supposed good mom. This how Babies replaced carrying around a small dog. Later that evening Jennifer breaks the news to Tony and Miriam. Jennifer before leaving the room decides to eavesdrop. Miriam yells at Tony refreshing him about where babies come from and tells him if he wants this baby he has to slumming around with all his co-workers.  Jennifer walks in the room screaming at Tony about his cheating and storms off. She finally made him choose it being her or Miriam. he wouldn't answer her.
 So she took for New York the next morning to see if he cared enough to come get her. Tony chases after her but still refuses for Miriam to move out and get her own place instead of living with them.  So she plans to file for divorce once the baby is born and moves in with Anne; Also breaks her vow of sobriety.  

A month later Miriam tells Jennifer that Tony is retarded and most likely the baby will be too. Later on Tony may have to be put in a home is which is why she is so stingy about the money.  Jennifer believes her and gets rid of as well getting a bigger settlement.
A few weeks later Jennifer starts dating an French artsy porn film director who wants her to do movies in France and she accepts. Even though Anne is all Miss Morals saying it'll ruin her; Jennifer asks if Anne has dated anyone else after Lyon dumped she tells him she'll wait for him to come back. Sound familiar? wonder where Stephanie Meyer got the ideas for her book? 

Several years later Jennifer is a huge European movie star. But her advisor is worried she won't cut it there. He berates her into getting a face lift and losing weight. Jennifer tells him she doesn't want to end up like Neely taking pills like there candy. So he suggests that she do a sleep cure which is normally for crazies in order to lose weight. What is a sleep cure? They put the person to sleep for eight days and you awake all beautiful; then you crap rainbows and vomit pixies dust.

A month later along with a face lift later Jennifer is back in New York visiting Anne ready to take on the American film industry. Jennifer after A long time decides to visit Anne and tells her that she found a studio that doesn't teach her like a golden retriever; Pretending to throw a tennis ball when playing fetch. Everything starts finally going well she meets a nice guy. Who actually likes her for instead of seeing her ass and tits.
It isn't until when Jennifer goes to the doctor she finds out she has breast cancer. When she tries to tell her boyfriend about losing her boobs. He just goes on and on how he never wants to lose her boobs. Jennifer distraught feeling absolutely no way that Kevin will love her. Also that her career would be over if they sliced up her breasts. She would have no way to send money to her family they living on her income. Jennifer ends up committing suicide. The story goes on but Jennifer doesn't. be sure to check out parts 1&3

Tony Polar: has been a very good friend of Jennifer's but she isn't that into him. He is insanely talented but he's dumb as dirt. Her next target to drain him dry of every cent he has.

Miriam Polar: Tony's older sister who raised him when their parents were killed at a young age. Who seems to despise Jennifer and doesn't leave them alone only when there in the bedroom. Who also recently seems very suspicious about Jennifer's real motives. When she found out about Tony getting married it infuriated her; Hiring  numerous detectives to watch him; constantly lying to her brother about their mother being dead. Also not being a dollar store whore and hiding even from Tony that he has the mental and emotional maturity of a ten year old. But she is hell bent on making this work out perfectly for her and Tony.

Lyon Burke: A man who had escorted her to Tony Polar's show. But even though there both similar; He's a luxury she can't afford. Also having dumped Anne leaving her emotionally scared. Down the line his books don't make money being a hack of a writer ends up writing movie scenario's to get by.

Anne Welles: One of Jennifer's friends and roommates. She envies Anne to have a passionate romance with Lyon. But knows that a girl with her body could get him without evening batting an eye lash. Who seemed neither sad nor happy until coming to New York. Only content but now finally feels like she's alive; Having made it big being a cosmetic spokesperson becomes more famous having been close friends with her before her untimely death.

Neely O'Hara:  One of the girls that was in the same show as Jennifer but know is off in Beverly Hills living it up. Beverly Hills that's where I want to be! But does end up crashing and burning after too many tantrums.

Claude: a French director which helped Jennifer become a famous porn star in Europe. But treats her like trash having convinced her to get a bunch of plastic surgery to the point she fears she'll look like Michael Jackson. But eventually she finds a studio in which she is free of Claude for good.

Kevin: A senator who had lost his wife. having started dating Jennifer being a conservative republican didn't make an advance the first two weeks. He has a mild nervous breakdown after Jennifer commits suicide.

The Hobo Corner: Valley of the dolls Part 1

(Disclaimer: this review contains spoilers. this is for fun all references and properties used belong to their rightful owners so please don't sue. also this review is not be taken seriously it's for entertainment purposes so if something agitates you please don't send hate mail to me. sit back and enjoy. )
Side note: before we begin this book does switch point of views between  3  characters so I will be doing this in three parts. enjoy part one. I also will take request for books to review feel free to message me.  at this site or at

What happens when you take three young woman in New York trying to be famous?

the only problem is when they get fame they can't handle it so they start abusing drugs.

OMG it's gossip girl?!?

oh it's set in the mid 1940's and early 50s

It's your grandmother's Gossip Girl, Melrose place and The Hills all rolled into...
No not a radio broadcast it's in a book called;
Valley of the dolls
By Jacqueline Susann

Our characters Main are: Lindsey Lohan, Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton
No not really their names are really Anne, Neely, and Jennifer.

Anne's point of view
Anne Welles:
She is the first character you start reading about and she is the typical small town girl moved to the big city. She feared  being married off to some dumb hillbilly. I don't blame her I wouldn't want to marry Jed Clampit anyway. Also she didn't have much interest in men anyway they thought she was a cold hearted woman like a anorexic version Rosie O'Donnell. Not really but her being from the New England area she followed her 
nature being a bit of cold person.

 Though it describes her as a beautiful woman even though she doesn't know it. She takes up a receptionist job at a big time modeling agency. Though her boss at first thought she would be a model be the next Tyra banks.  A month later she meets our second character Neely.  Who ran away from the circus you have to be careful of rabies filled corndogs.  Also the month brought Lyon Burk "The Fabio" which all the ladies in the office drooled over. As well as him being Anne's bosses partner. In which her boss is having a bromance with him. When she finds out Lyon is returning from his tour of duty Henry gives her the afternoon off.
When she runs into her fan boy Allen Cooper. Who she met one day after yet again failing at selling insurance to Henry Bellamy. She felt bad for him probably because he reminds her of a golden retriever puppy.  But has been out numerous times with him and he has made surprisingly no advancements on her.  When she begins to question whether she is straight or not? Not really; But she does wonder whether romance is something of fiction or not.  Allen also warns her about older stars to proceed with caution or you may find your insides on your outsides.

But Anne thinking that there is good in everyone blows him off. When Anne meets Lyon Burke the first time he comes off as an pompous ass who thinks of Anne as Ellie-mae Clampit type. Who doesn't know  a brownstone from A one man band. Even though she has been there two months she is a very resourceful woman. Anne finds out her now best friend Neely has gotten a call back audition from Queen Bitch herself  Helen Lawson.  Also has been bugging the crap out of her for weeks about getting her boss to get a contract set up for her and The Guacharos. She is pretty cool lying about Neely's age when she first meets her and starts hanging around with her.

Neely is only 17 but if anyone asks says she 18.
A handful of times Neely maybe dumb as a post but she's not ignorant the way the world works. She gave Anne the birds and the bees talk. Also tells her the truth about going into acting and show business. But Anne encourages her to go to auditions and take classes, But she's reluctant.

 One evening Allen takes her and surprise he's filthy rich!  The thing is it was all a rouse to find a good wholesome girl like Anne; He even had a detective check out Anne Welles background and what not! It of course came up all clean and thus this is where the hokey reality TV shows were created.  Allen suddenly without even asking her declares his love out of nowhere and tells her, She is going to marry him. Run Anne!! Run!!!   Oddly her boss blows a gasket when she mentions Allen helped complete the task for Lyon. He starts ranting and raving like a loon.  Later that afternoon she has a drink with Lyon learning two starling realizations Lyon isn't a total jerk and she doesn't have to be so cold.

 Finally getting that the whole world isn't out to get her.  Anne also had to go through a hellish evening meeting all of Allen's in-laws who thinks she's joking about not marrying Allen.   If she thought last night was bad getting chased down by paparazzi at work and everyone seeming like a gaggle of smiling robots. When all is said and done when the press finally leaves Anne has to restrain herself from hurling herself out of the windows in the five story office building. She explains the situation to Henry he gives her some sound advice.
Then she hears from Henry about our third main character Jennifer North.  That she's a gold digger just like Anne in which she hurls Henry out the five story building. no that didn't really happen but I wish it did or she would have decked him. He threatens to fire her unless she stays engaged to Allen being afraid she's going to throw herself at Lyon. Even though he hits on anything in a skirt and has a fan club. As well as dumped by Lyon Burke Fan club as well. Anne finally sees who this Jennifer girl and sees why she can practically get away with murder;  she is drop dead gorgeous she is: tall, skinny and has long pale blonde hair.  A few days later after Allen gave her the engagement ring which is a huge ten karat diamond ring. All the other co-workers hounding her for all the dirty details meeting all these celebrities.  She starts divulging details at lunch when sudden Neely comes rushing to Anne freaking out.  At the rehearsal they had treated her like an outcast and Helen Lawson had cut Neely out of the act using the other members of The Guacharos.
having signed a contract while her partners are getting two hundred a week she's getting a hundred. Anne suggests Neely get a job since she's not in the big Broadway show anymore. But Neely shuts Anne down embarrassing her in front of her co-workers. Lyon decides to step in and pull some strings that Neely gets a small part in the show.

  She uses the name Neely O'Hara and starts explaining the ins and outs of show biz to Neely. Anne starts getting all the dirty details about the show Neely is in it isn't until one day she hears her singing. She actually has real talent unlike all the Ke$sha wannabes in the show.
Later on Anne gets to meet her childhood idol Helen Lawson. The only thing during rehearsal she noticed that age is started to catch up with the once youthful vibrant woman Anne remembers.  Part of Anne's idea of Hollywood before the wondrous plastic surgery craze. She realizes that even celebrities age there only human not some mythological creature. No these celebrities in this book don't sparkle like Edward Cullen who looks like he hasn't showered in a decade with him being all gross and sweaty.  That evening Helen ends up hanging around Anne like a stray cat  Anne learns that Helen is the original spokesperson for cougars.  As well she parties like a rock star and swears like a sailor. 

After spending the evening partying with Helen Lawson Anne begins to wonder why Helen earned the infamous nickname the bitch of Broadway.  To Anne she seems sweet as kitten just wanting to have a romance novel romance. One that would make Twilight look like a porno. Neely yet again is waiting up for Anne to talk about their days. when Neely loses ranting and raving that Helen is nothing but a fake piece of plastic.

 Neely also reveals that if she ever got famous she wouldn't end up a Hollywood Whore like all the other celebrities.  Then she decides to play Sherlock Holmes trying to figure out why Helen wants to be friends with Anne. She comes to the conclusion that Helen is a closet lesbian and that's why she is always angry.  Makes sense to be but sadly that not the case she's just a dried up slut who will hump anybody's leg.  Anne continues to hang out with Helen and finds out she is bat shit crazy. One minute she is horny the next screaming like a mad woman then the next sobbing hysterically. She continuously hounds Anne calling her night and day also biting her head off when Anne makes a suggestion. Yet she continues to defend poor old Helen Lawson for some messed up reason. 
Two months pass Anne goes to her first show opening the one Nelly is in as well as Helen is staring in. Before the show in the bar while Henry goes play therapist to an enraged Helen Lawson. Lyon and Anne have some hand holding action as well as some flirting. Yes hand holding used to be a big deal back then. Anne also earlier when she had arrived heard from Nelly about her romantic evening losing her virginity which nearly gave Anne a nosebleed.  The show ends up being a major hit but Henry has to deal with Helen complaints about who should get the can. Helen rants and raves about how she isn't a fairy godmother and the only one to come out on top is her. Anyone who has a problem with it can go suck her left ovary.  The whole evening wasn't a total wash up she did end up having a very romantic evening with Lyon.  Which almost didn't happen twice. The first time she nearly hit him with the hotel room lamp; The second she couldn't hold back the tears and had ended up crying in the bathroom but Lyon coming in after he changed his mind again.
The next morning Helen did get her way having the girl most threatening to her quit. Which put Nelly in one of the lead parts with Helen. Anne finally goes and tells Allen that she isn't interested. Guess what? He finally gets it the hint!  Later that evening Anne attends the show with Neely being one of the leads it being even bigger.  But Lyon ditches her there and she finally tells Helen to get off. About time! 
The only problem by the time all of this has gone down it's the middle of the night and she left her wallet at home; It's also too far to walk home.

 When she loses complete hope Jennifer North walks up to her comforting her as Anne tells her the whole story. Jennifer loans her some money for train fare.  In return she only asks that she takes her out to lunch one day. Jennifer is fascinated about this love interest she has with Lyon burke.  When Anne got back to her apartment she got a message from her mother that her Aunt who had helped raised had passed away. Before she left she called Lyon only not having the courage to say anything he was yelling about some girl named Elizabeth. Which made things set in deeply on how well did she really know Lyon?  When Anne gets back from the funeral she ends up spending a romantic weekend with Lyon and he asks her to move in. Of course she turns him down but decides to get an apartment with the girls.

Anne notices after Neely leaving her and Jennifer for Hollywood. That Jennifer suddenly isn't a sleep deprived zombie but like marry poppins.  When she gets the news from Jennifer that her mother has died. When Anne returns back in town she gets a letter from Jennifer telling her about the diabolical plan on her and Tony are going to elope.  She has also been busy with selling all her childhood things including her old house. Also she finds out Lyon's book he's been writing was rejected by the publishers office. A few days later after Anne is her home town with Lyon who is head over heels in love with the place asks her to stay there. Anne flips out yelling at him about hasn't been listening to a word she is saying. Lyon storms out of the house only to leave a cryptic break up letter for Anne at her home. The letter pretty much is like a My Chemical Romance song about how a tortured soul he is and being super emo.   Anne gets recruited by a huge cosmetic company to be there it girl.

After Jennifer talking her into  it she quits her job with Henry Bellamy. Before Jennifer leaves she finally invests her money in the stocks instead of in Jimmy choo.

  Several weeks later Anne has dinner with Henry. She has been going through model similar to America's next top model. Henry tells Anne he got a letter from Jennifer asking for some more cash from her investments to feed her shopaholic condition.  After awhile Anne and Henry getting talking Henry mentions that Anne should stop caring about Lyon because Him, Helen Lawson and Jennifer are all the same. They  are the type that will never ever truly settle down with one person. They would keep using a roulette  different girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives.  Anne soon has become a household name and is dating her boss.  She isn't married or have kids but she could guilt the guy into it.  It isn't until Anne gets a call from Neely wanting to come out to New York and get away from it all. Two weeks past Neely is back to her old self. Neely and Anne are partying it up, getting into all kinds of harebrained schemes. Neely gets the offer to appear on a television show but she turns down afraid what it will do to her appearance.  Neely finally finds out a lot of the public believes she has lost her voice. I wonder if it's where Nemo is.  It's isn't until the notorious Helen Lawson gets in a fight with Neely one night while there both at a night club's bathroom. Helen goes on how she always gets the short end of the stick and how all the young stars use her as catapult to Hollywood. Neely tells her to stop being a drama queen when Helen calls her kids worthless and it makes Neely snap.  Neely grabs Helen by the hair only to find out she is as bald  as Uncle Fester from the Adams Family. Helen screeching about  how she is letting her hair grow back in, that's it's a bad perm job. Neely tosses the wig towards Anne and they play keep away from Helen until it goes splattering into a toilet. Neely with a evil smile flushed the wig holding off Helen's attacks.  Anne not blaming Neely for doing something like this or much worse.  So Neely decides to make her come back on a television special while Anne and Kevin introduce a new product for the event. Anne concerned with her friend wanted to follow Neely to the cost but she had to and perform like a trained seal.  One night though out of the blue Anne runs into Allen who introduced his wife whom looks young enough to be his kid.  Anne observed the identical ring his wife had to the one she had and wondered how many he has had. Also how many other girls had he harassed  into trying to marry them.  Anne was just glad Lyon is in England and the chances of running into in New York are thin.

Three years later it being now 1960 the world isn't so moral conscious anymore. Anne has been at the bed side of her boss who she has been having a relationship with for awhile. She promises him she'll marry him after him having a massive heart attack it being a miracle he even made it through it at all. Anne's boss Kevin is selling the company and planning on take her on a romantic honeymoon after the marriage around the world. But Anne being the nice girl she is constantly worrying about what Hollywood has done to Neely with her "comebacks" and then her falling into the depths of despair as portrayed by the media.  Ten days later a distraught Neely showed up at  Anne's apartment asking to only stay a few days. But days turned into weeks and into months. Anne had been living a very calm organized life but with Neely there the press constantly harassing them along with the rabid fans. Neely was worse when she wasn't comatose she was drunk screaming and yelling about Hollywood. Anne got fed up of tossing out the pills but there would always be more in their place. So  Anne's boyfriend booted Neely out and set her up in a hotel room. several weeks later after Anne has bailed Neely out of jail she mentions about Neely going to see a doctor to help get her on track again. But Anne soon hears Neely ran off to Europe and is causing trouble over there terrified of going to see a doctor and get help.
Three months later Neely seems to be doing not so well in the nut house but the reports show doing this for Neely's own good.  two weeks pass and Neely has been doing a lot better and is make friends with the patients. as well as the nurses one being a fan giving her some extra cigarettes. 

Several months later Neely had a set back from the nurse she was friends with she stole a bottle of morphine and when they tried to get it back she tried pulling a Houdini.  Thus Neely got moved back to the ward with the highly disturbed  patients. While Anne is still working hard at the cosmetic company even though her fiancé has sold the company.

 Several months later Anne is greatly surprised Lyon Burke dragging his emo ass to visit her. Anne ends up having a one night stand with Lyon which makes Kevin have a nervous breakdown. When one evening Anne is out at dinner with Kevin when she sees Lyon stroll in with some new young girl all over him and not telling her to keep it to herself. later Kevin decides to be a man and take charge of the relationship saying he's done waiting for her and Neely to make up their minds. She is going to marry him like it or not. But Kevin stormed off still enraged at Anne. When Anne realizes she is finally free she won't have to settle and marry Kevin after all.

So Anne  decides to go visit Lyon and finds out that little Hispanic tramp he was with was he has to write an article for a newspaper about her life. When all of a sudden at Lyon's house the phone rings it's a pleading Kevin claiming he overreacted. Now is the conflict between her head and her heart.  Will Anne leave Kevin for Lyon? Will Neely ever get out of rehab? Will we ever know how many licks it takes to get to the center of tootsies roll tootsies pop?  Anne chose Lyon and this how the Twilight Saga Eclipse and New Moon was made.  Kevin slummed around and still having a chair on the company he sold he tried to cancel Anne's contract with the sold cosmetic company.  But it back fired on Kevin and Anne ended up getting a ten thousand dollar raise.

 A few months pass and it get time for Lyon to return home but Anne along with Henry Bellamy and Neely they come up with a haired brain scheme to keep Lyon from leaving New York.  Anne plan did work in which soon Lyon had asked to marry her. How you might wonder she had Henry beg Lyon to help buy his business he has built up so he can finally retire and he agreed. But Lyon didn't have the funds to buy such a big company but Henry "lends him the cash" but the one who truly funded it was Anne. Who is terrified he might find out one day considering he would have been too prideful to let her pay for things.  Lyon Burke gets the idea to open another branch in California the only problem they don't have the cash and star power for it. So they decided to have Neely come back from rehab and do a comeback concert tour. which succeeds big time but the horrible spoiled Neely returns soon too.  

Soon Anne was nine months pregnant when Lyon finds out the truth about the loan. Lyon leaves in to California in a fit of hysteria vowing that he would double her investment.

A month later Anne's baby girl Jennifer was born while Lyon was off in California but he did call everyday from there. During that time Lyon has only seen his daughter four days since she was born due to Neely refusing to do anything without Lyon by her side.  Lyon explains to Anne he would love to have her overseas with him and Neely but he wants to show her the Europe he fell in love with.  He would only be stuck in theaters and on the movie set of Neely's new upcoming movie to prove Hollywood Neely is reliable.
Three months later Anne has spent so much time with little Jennifer the nurse she had hired to assist her with the baby keeps insisting that Anne goes on and has some personal time to herself. It wasn't until when Anne stopped getting letters and phone calls from Lyon for a week she began to worry. When she saw in the newspaper that Lyon is cheating on her with Neely or the other way around. too bad they didn't have the show Cheaters back then. They probably got the idea for the show from this book.
Desperate for advice Anne rushes over to see Henry where they come up with another plan in which Anne is to act more demure and let Neely's true nature shine through. Henry also gives Anne some Seconals to help her get through this is the first time she starts to do drugs. Lyon soon always had an excuse for coming home late or blowing off his dates with Anne. The Seconals are the only thing that kept her sanity through the lonely nights.  After going over to Henry's place and listening on the extension a phone conversation between Neely and Henry about Lyon.  Anne loses hope that she has lost Lyon forever but Henry reassures her that Neely is self-destructive. 

Later one evening Anne rushed her ill baby to the E.R. running an 103 fever while trying to get a hold of Lyon. she managed to get through to Neely and take a message for her. 
Ten days later after the baby got better Neely had called the apartment in the middle of the night threatening Neely unless Lyon comes over there she will kill herself. 
The next time Lyon is home from California in her sleep Anne tells Lyon that she knows about him and Neely but she won't ever give him up. Neely calls while Anne listens in on the other phone about  what they're saying. Neely is enraged she has to wait until after Lyon's daughter's birthday for him to fly out and see her.
 It wasn't until one night Anne and Lyon are together at home in New York watching TV and a news bulletin flashes that Neely is in the hospital and had swallowed half a bottle of pills thinking Lyon had broken up with her.  It isn't until Lyon is fed up with Neely's tantrums and behavior he drops her from the agency.  It being a miracle Anne has lasted so long with him having to deal with Neely. But he did vow to pay  the loan back with double interest and he did just that.

One year Later it's 1965. Anne had been talking into throwing a New year's eve party which new years day is their daughter's birthday. It's going to be Jennifer's second birthday has her thrilled and soon the guests start to arrive. When she catches Lyon cheating on her with another girl but it doesn't hurt her as much as it did before. She took two Seconals she realized there is always going to be a Neely out there. each time it will hurt less and less but she won't ever give him up. That is how it ends. did it have you screaming for more a sequel. I don't think there is a second one but it's really great book. once you get past all the mellow dramatic parts but I hoped you enjoyed this review. but this is a three part book and so this review is three parts check out parts 2&3


Henry Bellamy:                       
A  Jewish  theatrical  attorney  who acts more like a P.R. manager.  He explains to Anne that the entertainment industry is difficult even being his sectary.  He also seems to have some infatuation with Anne having described Anne as a beautiful girl with pale blonde hair and sky blue eyes. Also has to explain some of his entertaining language when he's upset to Anne what it means.  an example he had to explain what Schmuck means to her.   He has faith in her abilities that she will move on to great and wonderful things.   The name Helen Lawson makes Henry want to run for the hills it's his old lover who is quiet bitter. But Helen was nothing serious to him just a ship passing through. though he views Anne as a daughter he never had. he get all bent out of shape when Allen Cooper starts hanging around.
was worried at one point she eloped with Allen when she left him a very strange message that she couldn't be in work.  but that was hardly the case.

Lyon Burke:  Raised in England and seems to have his own fan club.  the day after pearl harbor he enlisted in the navy. He's a very sly man his partner Henry who seems to have somewhat of a fictional bromance going on in his head. While Lyon being oblivious to that and gaggle of woman from the office about ready  to rip his pants off any second. He has hair black as night and a nice dark tan complexion. He doesn't have much faith in Anne at first on her being a very competent woman in general. Later he tells that he wants to write a novel about the war he was in. but is too afraid it'll crash and burn. also that Henry will point and laugh at his failure. Simpson style of course.

Tony Polar:  they say he is the next Sinatra and supposed boyfriend of Jennifer. He ends marrying Jennifer then divorcing  her. also she had an abortion her knowing that Tony is retarded. Tony also seen Neely in the same Rehab center and sang together for fun.

Helen Lawson:  A musical star who can sing as well as dance. Also known as the biggest bitch on Broadway. When approaching her proceed with caution. If you even mention the phrases: oh I'm such a big fan of yours or I loved you when I was little; She turns into Gremlin version of  Jack the ripper.  
Also it seems though she is forty that Helen is going through an indefinite mid-life crisis acting like she's in her twenties.  One of the many reasons why she is the bitch of Broadway is she was dumped by Henry Bellamy. She hasn't had a good relationship since she has been married three times and all of them not ending doves and white rice. hasn't had a hit Broadway show in over five years in other words she is yesterday's news. so she does some drastic things for publicity no she doesn't forget to wear underwear. she marries a ranch owner then divorces him two years later making a big spectacle out of it.

Neely: Her real name Ethel Agnes O'Neil as in her words quiet a mouth full. So everyone calls her Neely since she was in grade school. Neely is the youngest out of three girls. She is a member of a dance trio called the Guacharos. The Guacharos are Vaudeville act she has been touring since she was seven years old.
Neely has been wanting to make it big and be able to stay in one place for once. Instead of having to go where ever carnies want her dance around like an oversized gorilla.  She has no education what so ever and when not dancing she has about as much coordination as Steve Urkel.  But she does have star quality out of all the main characters.  
 She also most of her life has been taken care of her older sister Kitty who is ten years older than Neely being more of a mother figure than a sister.  Neely may be dumb as a sack of potatoes but unlike her best buddy Anne she knows how the world works.
Learns that Anne has had thing handed to her on a silver platter which makes her envious of her. wanting some millionaire with loads of power to marry her she would say I do so fast her head would spin. Neely eventually overdoing it with the drugs and Hollywood she ends up in rehab to get clean.

Jennifer:  A woman had married a wealthy prince from another land. but four days after the marriage she wants gets divorced ,takes the money and runs. But she was dumb and signed a premarital agreement if she divorces him no money for her. in order to get the cash she's an no talent actress nothing but a pretty face and body. in other words she's like Paris Hilton. this is where they got the idea for catching up with the Kardashinians.

Kevin Gillian: the owner of Gillian cosmetics and helped made Anne famous. but Anne eventually ditched him for Lyon. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sockpuppet's Soapbox: 1#

What ever happened to the world where teenage girls obsessed over bands and painted their nails black and stalked band members instead of chasing after a fictitious vampire who sparkles in the rain and drives shiny cars.
This is the world that the Twilight movies have created for us. 

When I was growing up I covered my walls in Avril Lavigne and Simple Plan posters instead of Team Jacob and Team Edward. In fact unless we go back to the early days when I was in training pants and singing Barney songs I never once remember having my room covered in posters just because of one movie unless you count the one Pirates of the Caribbean poster I had at the age of 12.

Yes it’s true I read the Twilight book series and I thought it was an ok read though I wouldn‘t go out of my way to read them again, but sadly this vampire era in the world seems to revolve strictly around the movies which is all about a sexy teen vampire who you want to loose your virginity too. And who you become so obsessed with that you can’t seen anyone else pain but your own.

Everywhere I go, Even today’s hit shows reference Twilight any chance they get . Ok we get it. It’s a huge success. You can stop cramming it down our throats now. It’s very sad to know I can’t even walk into a book store anymore with out having everything Twilight shoved in my face. It’s ridiculous! It’s a movie people. It’s not real, Edward Cullen is not going to come in and have a cat fight over you.
And with that being said let’s talk about the effect it’s having on today’s young generation.
They think that everything is a competition and that we all need to be separated into teams.

 What ever happened to being equal in this world? Hell we’re even divided onto teams based on our Twilight Love/Hate status.
So let me take this minute to say I am not taking a position in this Twilight feud I am merely stating my opinions on the effect it has had on our generation.
The movies themselves don’t even come close to being like the book. 

The first movie Twilight was just a mess. It was poorly directed and just way too over the top cheesy.
The second movie New Moon was better in comparison to the first. But the werewolf effects were a little less than impressive and the cliff diving scene (if you can call it that) was just disappointing.

 She did not dive off the cliff! She stepped off of it! And she did it with such lack of emotion. Come on if you were jumping off a huge ass cliff in the middle of a storm and there was a chance you could die, you can bet your ass you would have some type of emotion!
The third one Eclipse was just a huge screw up.

 The ending fight was just horrible. When vampires fight they do not break like freaking porcelain dolls!
What happened to the ripping of heads and shredding them to bits while they burn in fiery peril? Hell the freaking Ninja Turtles could fight with more ferocity and power.
All I can say is I can’t wait to see how they mess up the final book Breaking Dawn which will be made into two parts (no doubt a ploy for more money)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Hobo Corner: Tin Can Sam Viral Virus Video

This is Tin Can Sam with you all. 
so I just watched a clip of the most greastest freak out ever. 
The kid thats freaking out was trying to be angery for a happy website or company advertisment. Its pretty funny but I think it was acted out a little poorly.
 He had a pre-planted baseball bat and smashed everything for being called gay. Well he wasn't called gay, he thought he was called gay.
 Okay maybe this freak out was pretty funny.
Also at the end of the video you get this "I want to get drunk and beat the crap out of him feeling" but I got to go. I need to find my can, bye.

tell me your thoughts on this one, lol

The Hobo Corner Introduces: Tin Can Sam

Hi my Name Tin Can Sam.
 I am the man you sips from a tin and likes sitting on the can. In the middle of doing all this I watch crazy video clips or movies. Than I write a review about it.
 So my friend Hobo Girl asked me to review for her website with some other people.
 Remember the name is Tin Can Sam and we all know why.

The Hobo Corner: Phantom Critic Reviews BulletStorm 360 verison

Note: Bulletstorm is for the Xbox 360,PS3 and Windows computers

Alright everyone The phantom critic here to earn his stripes with his first review! Hahaha and here we go!
Now I chose this game to the fact that it has humor, epic action, Guns galore with all of them having a brutal add on I may add, and a half human half robot friend. If you guessed right :D then for those who had the chance to experience the crashes, the insane gangs, and the drunken shooting. Then you know im talking about the one the only "Bulletstorm."
 Now as much as I want to get to details of what you really want. Let's give those who don't know the story. In the 26th century the federation of planets is protected by a secret black ops army called dead echo led by the corrupt General Sorrano.
 Now our story follows space pirates Grayson Hunt and his cyborg friend Ishi Sato. Grayson lead a tight nit group until all came crashing now when finding out that when following orders from general Sorrano killing drug runners and mass murders just happen to be innocent people. Now after ten years of wallowing in drunkenness Grayson takes him and his team on some well deserve revenge. in good attempt all turns on them when Grayson and Ishi crash land on a planet called Stygia.
 Once a resort planet turn into hell on earth over run with gangs with an insane sense of mind, man eating plants, and Godzilla sized monsters. From rifle ,to handgun, to a gun that shoots drills yes I said drills they a unique variety and all of them come with a wicked upgrade called the "charge shot" whether it be shooting 150 rounds at your enemies in one shot with the "peace maker carbine" Orr exploding your bullet after controlling it straight toward the head of a cannibal with "the head hunter."
 unless your like me you will also take interest in the leash. A com link that emits a beam that you can hurl your enemies into compromising situations. As much as I would love to give you details. I would like you to see the brutality for yourself haha. Also there always a challenge you can get points to buy ammo or upgrade your guns by pulling off the moves in a full listing of "special" ways to take out your enemies.
 Its very entertaining fps "first person shooter" that will keep your interests and make you laugh. 
So check it out! :D and finally see a storm of bullets haha get?

The Hobo Corner Introduces: The Phantom Critic ( he quit)

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am the phantom critic.

 Your guru and voiced opinion on the new and upcoimg video games that you know and love. 

Weather it be new or old I'll give you reveiw that will give you all that you will need to know. 
So come one come all! So you will know what to buy and play. 

Oh and sorry my identity is enclosed haha dont even think of asking hobo girl only she known my true identi


asking hobo girl only she known my true identity. boohaha
that you will need to know. So come one come all! So you will know what to buy and play. Oh and sorry my identity is enclosed haha dont even think of asking hobo girl only she known my true identity. boohaha
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, I am the phantom criti. Your guru and voiced opinion on the new and upcoimg video games that you know and love. Weather it be new or old I'll give you reveiw that will give you all that you will need to know. So come one come all! So you will know what to buy and play. Oh and sorry my identity is enclosed haha dont even think of asking hobo girl only she known my true identity. boohaha
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, I am the phantom criti. Your guru and voiced opinion on the new and upcoimg video games that you know and love. Weather it be new or old I'll give you reveiw that will give you all that you will need to know. So come one come all! So you will know what to buy and play. Oh and sorry my identity is enclosed haha dont even think of asking hobo girl only she known my true identity. boohaha
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, I am the phantom criti. Your guru and voiced opinion on the new and upcoimg video games that you know and love. Weather it be new or old I'll give you reveiw that will give you all that you will need to know. So come one come all! So you will know what to buy and play. Oh and sorry my identity is enclosed haha dont even think of asking hobo girl only she known my true identity. boohaha

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