Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Hobo Corner: Valley of the dolls Part 3

Neely's point of view

Nelly O'Hara:  The show she is in is a major hit; She finds out at a party that Mel wants to marry her right away and doesn't want to wait until the summer to get married. A month passes, Nelly ends up signing with a big agency and for a present they give her a  grand piano. Also she takes on another show; So now she is pulling double duty. She also plans to keep on working no matter what and not end up like Helen Lawson.

 The new agency sends over to help get Neely all in shape Jillian Michaels! No not really but he's just about as crazy and rude as her. When he finally makes her lose it completely after he threatens to burn her clothes and gets her a boring new wardrobe. When she is having lunch with Mel she asks him about the new trainer and if it's just her overreacting, or is he really being a complete nut job? He just mutters things in coherently. when she finally gets a answer out of him; He's on the trainer's side saying that homosexuals most of the time are snappy dressers.

Neely show she is staring in is what puts her on the stardom rocket. She gets a movie deal as well as a record contract. Also she is moving out to California and talked Mel out of his job to be a house husband. Before it was the cool thing to do.

It's been two years and now Neely has two beautiful twin boys. Also a new husband/baby daddy named Ted. But she missed the twins Birthdays because of work and being too stoned off her ass.  Neely believes television won't change Hollywood and kill radio shows. She thinks all the people are overreacting not giving out long contracts for Movies and other entertainment any more. She also has seen Jennifer is now a huge French "Art" porn star. She remembers to have to thank Anne for Lyon's new book even though the critics said it is worse than when Stephanie Meyer decided to sell her soul and go all commercial.  Later on Neely decides to keep the buzz going and doing the Marilyn Monroe thing; Taking pills and alcohol at the same time. When suddenly she hears a loud splash in the pool in her yard. She peers in to the darkness only to see Ted cheating on her with some intern; frolicking in the pool fooling around with each other. Neely in a fit of rage pours herself a scotch and takes several more pills.

When she realizes that Ted never really pays for anything she is covering the bills, food, house, car payments and servants. Neely enraged storms downstairs and outside toward the pool. A fight ensues Neely screaming and yelling at Ted giving him a piece of her mind. She made the song Please don't leave me  By Pink. Seem like a Hannah Montana song with how she flipped out.  But it turned out to be the final straw Ted left and never came back.

Three years later Neely fought against the idea of getting a divorce with Ted. Her PR manager warned her it would look bad for her image being the cute girl next store type. So they worked out a deal in Public Ted would pretend to be her husband escorting her to movie openings and Hollywood  parties.

But now Neely being black balled in other words no studio wanted her to star in pictures being too high of a liability.  It wasn't until she won an Academy award she had enough power to finally divorce Ted's cheating ass. 

As time passes Neely starts become a diva leaving the set when she feels like it. Not showing up to the set and pulling a Charlie Sheen except with pills. A director warns her that the studios soon won't put up with her hair brained  schemes anymore. Later that evening while Neely is taking pills like candy; She feels frustrated on now how everything has to be upright and moral it's wearing thin on her with everything be all creepy perfect leave it to beaver type of movies. 

Three years later Neely can barely fit in skinny jeans anymore. She is about to have someone play the tuba when she walks and follow her around.  Neely is called in to have a meeting with Bob Barker. No not really but he looks like him. She has the meeting with the studio head who would be a Bob Barker look alike.  Neely knocked off her high horse after having thrown one too many tantrums and leaving in the middle of shooting. feeling worthless and distraught she overdoses on pills. 

Neely discovers that she is back on top with everyone kissing her feet thinking she tried to kill herself. Neely goes to work the next day only to have the director playing head games with her until she stormed off the set. Neely's replacement having been smart and is sleeping with the director. Neely gets in trouble after ditching her own television come back special; She pretty much had a nervous breakdown. Having issues dealing with Jennifer's suicide she has another breakdown; begins to try to commit suicide to join Jennifer. Only to back out at the last minute calling an EMS crew to come get her.

She awakens in a hospital room and Anne yells at her about how they wanted to take her to a funny farm. When Anne suggests the sleep cure of Neely. But what the doctors says she is too far gone for it to work on Neely. The plan gets into motion Anne takes Neely for the "sleep cure" to help Neely get her voice back.

Anne glad she not going to be there when Neely finds out she's been committed not getting a sleep cure.

 Neely tries to make a mad dash after figuring out it's a set up only to be tackled to the grown by a lady as big as Hulk Hogan.  Neely still freaking out after they brought her some food she hurled the entire tray at the nurse screaming at her. Only to try kicking out the screen in the window.

But only to be tackled again by the Hulk Hogan looking nurse. The nurses soon dragged Neely into a tub that had a straight jacket type of cover over it so she wouldn't be able to move around in it.

 When Neely being the first ever to break free from it and nearly escape until being tackled again and put in there. Neely falls asleep being sedated to awaken in the psyche ward with the most disturbed patients. while a girl fills her in that it's like school act all goody-goody and you'll be out of here in no time. Neely was soon seeing a psychiatrist who wanted to play Freudian games and what not. To her everyone seemed sane compared to the brain washed loons. But the horrifying thing is some were brain washed by using shock therapy. So Neely must now using her acting abilities to get her out of the nut house and to her partying lifestyle.  In the funny farm Neely learned that the doctors brainwash the people who were liable for them that there crazy even they really aren't. But compared to the rest of them Neely is sane as Betty White.  This where Neely's point of view ends but the other two continue Anne's ending the book. be sure to check out parts 1&2. I hope you got a good laugh out of this.
Valley of the dolls can be overdramatic but it's a good book. So I give it an 8 out 10

Ted: Neely's Second husband and baby daddy to her twin boys. he is a British actor and She met him when she was stoned out of her mind. Isn't that how Lindsey Lohan meets most of her boyfriends. But turns out he's in the closet for being a homosexual. only Neely caught him once having his way with another man. But she still stayed together with him for the twins sake. wow this must be where they got the idea for the show Teen Mom.

Mel: Neely boyfriend and soon to be first husband. Also recently got promoted to the writer of a very popular radio show. also ditched Neely to New York while she married someone else.

Anne Welles: with her connections to Allen happened to find an amazing apartment. it belonged to Allen's father's ex girlfriend who went overseas for awhile until the summer.

Jennifer North: recently turned down a movie deal claiming it wasn't good enough and wants to stick with Tony Polar.
Zeke Whtyes: Neely's trainer to help her dance better and sing. but he is a real hard ass driving both Anne and Jennifer nuts with his crazy rules and never giving Neely five minutes to rest.


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